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One of the most important discoveries I have made in my career is
defining what it is we in the medical profession do, and don't do, for a
living. We don't heal patients. We provide patients with tools,
information and procedures that will help them heal. We teach. In my daily
practice I usually don't have time to teach all of the things that I have
learned to make my patients lives better. People come to me because they
have a physical ailment. They usually think they are there because their
throat hurts or they have a headache or something similar.
It has been my experience that most people get "sick" when they
are under stress. If you use the information on this web page and in
our workbook you may be sick less and have a better life.
Here are the questions you need to ask
yourself:
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When was the last time you felt
good?
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What do you want to do when you
grow up?
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What Stress do you have in your
life?
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What do you do for fun?
Honest answers to these questions will give
you an idea about your state of mind, or state of ease.
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU FELT GOOD?
If you have a great
life and feel good most of the time, there are probably not a lot of things
you need to change in your day to day life. If you are tired or sick a lot
of the time you may need to make a few changes. The things that make us
"not feel good" accumulate over time. It is usually not one thing, but a
series of small things.
There is a movie that illustrates this very well.
The
movie is Joe vs. The Volcano. It
stars Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan. It is about a man with a bad life that is
always sick, or at least always feels sick. Over the course of the movie
you discover that his physical complaints are all a result of the emotional
trauma from his previous job in the fire department. This is the same
phenomenon that causes past or current victims of abuse to be physically
ill. One of my favorite scenes is when Joe is in the doctors office
learning about his dis-ease. The doctor tells him "there is nothing
wrong with you that has anything to do with your symptoms." Joe's
"symptoms" were physical manifestations caused by the
stress from his past traumatic experiences. The Kid with
Bruce Willis also shows how past emotional abuse can have life long
effects. One of my favorite scenes is the final scene where we learn that
in the end it will all be ok. There is a peace and wisdom that comes with
just surviving that long. I would love to be able to teach that peace to
people earlier in their lives. It would save a lot of emotional stress and
physical pain.
In the movie Joe vs. The Volcano the doctor tells Joe he
is a "hypochondriac". The tendency in the medical field is to
discount patients symptoms that don't fit into the current scientific
model. We like to run "studies" that explain disease processes to us. If
they can't be explained in that manner then they can't be real. Therefore
the patients' symptoms can't be real. I think this is the least
understood dis-ease process today. I'm not saying that medical studies are
not good or important. I think that this dis-ease process falls between the
cracks of medical science and psychology. That is unfortunate since up to
half of the people in this country have suffered some form of abuse or
emotional trauma and may be suffering this dis-ease.
The best book I have ever read about stress induced
pain syndromes is The Mindbody Prescription by Dr John Sarno.
He describes how we let our emotions cause physical problems. It is
available at any book store.
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO WHEN YOU GROW
UP?
Young people have many questions about
their jobs or careers and we may be able to help them or direct them to
someone that can help if we can't. They are still planning and working
toward their goals.
This question may seem strange to 40 or 50 year
old people, but that is exactly the age group that is now realizing that
they have either met, or failed to meet, the expectations of their youth.
That is part of the "mid-life-crisis". We all had high hopes in the 60's,
(no pun intended), and many people find themselves trapped in a job with
bills and a life they don't like, and never thought they would have settled
for.
WHAT STRESS DO YOU HAVE IN YOUR LIFE?
 When
asked this question most people will not know of anything, or they will tell
you that they have the "usual stresses". People don't understand stress.
 Picture
yourself living on a tropical island without modern civilization. If food
is plentiful and there is no danger of being eaten there would not be much
stress. You might possibly worry if a coconut doesn't fall each day to eat,
but that would be all. That is as stress free as I can imagine. None of us
live under those conditions. We have to get up in the morning, possibly
drive a car somewhere throughout the day, go to work, think about food,
bills, family members etc. Those are the usual stresses. Other people have
much more stress. Most of us take all of that stress for granted.
One patient that I saw for a sore throat looked depressed. When asked
she told me that she had the usual problems "just like everyone else. With
further conversation she said that her husband spends most of his time away
from home be his choice. Her last child had just left for college, and
their family dog of many years had just died. After
talking with her about her life and the multiple causes for her "lack of
ease", or depression in this case, she left with a better understanding of
her situation, a sense of control, and some things that she could work on to
make her situation better. I suggested more counseling and treated her sore
throat. As you probably figured out already her disease actually had less
to do with a bacteria growing on her throat, and more to do with the life
stresses that got her run down enough to let the bacteria grow.
The stress in your life does not have to be from today. Many people
that have lived with domestic violence or emotional abuse in the past suffer
illness today due to that trauma. Without treatment those illnesses will be
with them until they die. Counseling for post-traumatic-stress is available
for those people. It is just as necessary for them as it is for any other
victim of war. Part of the problem for those people is that they don't
equate their current illness, (abdominal pain, headache, fatigue, or
depression etc..), with the past injury. Many of them are ashamed or afraid
to talk to their doctor about their past or current abuse. Most communities
now have shelters and support for victims of domestic abuse. If you are
currently being abused there is help available. If you have a chronic
illness and have had any of these problems in your past talk to your doctor.
WHAT DO YOU DO FOR FUN?
In Idaho where I practice the standard
response to this question is "I like to hunt and fish". When asked about
the last time they did either of those things they usually can find a day
several weeks, months, or years ago. I explain to them they don't have
enough fun. You've heard that time spent fishing isn't deducted from your
life. The same concept is true for anything that gives you pleasure, or
puts you more AT EASE. one of my favorite sayings is "we all seek
fame and fortune but all we really need is something to be
enthusiastic about". We are happier is we have something good to look
forward to. There are two things we need to do. One is to make what we do
everyday something to be enthusiastic about. The other is to create great
memories.
HOMEWORK
This homework will help you get control of
the things that are making you ILL-AT-EASE. Your first task is
to take a notebook
with you each day from the time you get up and write down everything that
could be better about your day. It can be anything from minor repairs to
your house or car that would improve your day, or interpersonal
relationships.
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